Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there. I hope it’s a good one for you. Please do not underestimate your importance. God’s plan depends on men acting like men: courage, selflessness, leadership, civility, discipline, initiative. Seek to live like the second Adam (Jesus) not the first . It will make such a difference to so many – especially those you love.
I’m particularly focused on Father’s Day this year for two reasons:
My own Father is slipping away:
- Yesterday the hospice doc said he thought my Dad had three days left. One of my sisters and one of my brothers are standing vigil with my Mom as I write this. I’m ready for the call announcing the end of his suffering and struggles for at least two reasons: I am confident that my Dad will be welcomed by Christ – and that I’ll see him again.
- Nothing more needs to be said: Nine months ago – shortly after my Father was diagnosed with cancer, and during a time when we thought he had five weeks to live – we had a great conversation. He told me: that he loved me; that he was proud of me; and he apologized for any times when that was not clear. I asked for his forgiveness for my missteps as well. I am mystified by the power his words of affirmation had on me. (Years earlier I saved a voice mail where he called – which was unusual – and left a message – even more unusual. As he was signing off he casually said, “I love you and I’m proud of you.” I had not heard those words in some time, was shocked to hear them and started to weep. From time to time I’d replay them, almost always to the same effect. At one point I expressed to Sheri, “I don’t get it. I’m nearly fifty years old. I hardly ever see him or talk to him. I am fairly independent – I do not seem to need the affirmation of others. Why do his words have so much power in my life?” I am not sure I know the answer even now. But they do.) Which is why I am so glad to be able to say, “I heard from him what I needed to hear and I said what I needed to say.” There is no unfinished work there. (On this Father’s Day, let me encourage you to say what needs to be said, and let me encourage all the dads to not underestimate the power of their words in the lives of their children.)
My Boys Have Stepped Up: The last two months have brought change. It started on the night of my stroke. Early, when I still thought all I had was the flu – I got out of bed and was collapsed on the floor. The next thing I knew I was being picked up and set back in bed. I was pretty out of it at the time, but I knew two things right away: these are not Sheri’s arms lifting me, they are one of the boys – and this is a first. I’ve picked them up before – I’ve held them – but they’ve never held me. This is a “cats in the cradle” moment.
Other firsts followed. For the most part, Sheri was the one on point 24/7. I’ve never had any doubts that if I went down she would be there – calm, caring, protective, etc. – but it was fun to see her in action, modeling sacrificial love and devotion. But the boys also stepped up. They logged hours at the hospital – keeping me company, typing up my blog, reading me my cards and emails, pushing my wheel chair through downtown Chicago so I could get a real meal or a real cup of coffee. And then they were there for me at home. For a while I could not be left alone. They “babysat “ me, held me up as I took walks (stumbled) around the block, reminded me to take my meds, drove me to therapy or the doctor’s office, took care of the house, etc. All of this was bittersweet. It is not fun being so profoundly needy. But it was /is fun to watch them step up. They sacrificially did what was asked and took initiative beyond that.
When the old man went down, they stepped up and started acting like men. Later today I will probably get some gifts for Father’ Day. But none will mean as much to me as the gifts they’ve given me over the last eight weeks.
Some Father’s Days are more significant than others. This is a big one for me. I hope it’s a good one for you.
Prayer Requests: Thanks to the many of you who have been praying for me / us. At the moment I’d like to make some specific requests:
- Eye site: My vision remains a bit off. This makes reading hard and driving impossible. It continues to improve. Pray that I keep making progress.
- Coordination: There are two issues here. First, I need my left hand to cooperate a bit more. My typing has dropped from 60 plus words/ minute to 10-20. There are times when being a half inch off isn’t much. And there are times – and typing is one – where being a half inch off means a lot! Second, I continue to veer to the left, especially when I am tired. It’s much better than a few weeks ago. I am hopeful that I get back to 100 percent.
- God’s Power: Finally, please pray that I can embrace and embody Paul’s comments in 2 Cor. 12:-10: “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Press On,
Mike