When was the last time that someone told you that you were wrong? If it’s been a while, then you might not have any real friends.
Nobody likes to be wrong, and nobody likes to be told when they are. Most people come up with excuses when faced with their mistakes. Grown adults even resort to tantrums and melt-downs when confronted with their errors. These are natural responses when our pride has been hurt. The immature person will leave these responses unchecked. But the mature person pushes past these gut reactions, because growth requires coming to grips with our true self – no matter how ugly it may be.
We need people in our lives – besides our spouses – who will call us out when we are wrong. But some people gain enough money and/or power that no one will risk getting cut off by pointing out a problem. Confrontation is risky, and it requires bravery. To point out a friend’s weakness, even when done with grace and the best of intentions, is to put your relationship on the line. There is the possibility that your friend will walk away in rage, but there is also the hope that they will come back after cooling down – and say thank you. That is a sign of true maturity.
Anybody can surround themselves with yes-men – fake friends that never have the courage to confront them. But true friendship is deeper. Real friends love each other too much NOT to say something when they know we messed up. Real friends take the risk – with knots in their throat, sweat on their palms, and grace in their heart – to say, “You were wrong, and I can’t let you keep doing this.”
We all need friends like that. I have mine. I hope you have yours.